I was just tagged by jhawke to write 25 random things, specifically:

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

First of all, I am not going to tag anyone because 1) I don’t read 25 personal blogs, and 2) The ones that I’ve read have already been tagged, and have expressed how they’re going to send anyone who tag them to hell, and I don’t want to go there yet.

1. I am a handicapped perfectionist.  This doesn’t mean I do things perfectly, but rather, I want to do things perfectly so a lot of times, I don’t do them because I can’t figure out a way to be perfect.  This is why I still have photos from my 2007 Australia trip that hasn’t been uploaded – I believed that I could make an awesome travelogue of it.  It’s 2009, so I doubt that’s going to happen.

2. The term “food snob” irks me to no end. Fuck you.

3. Hillary Clinton is my personal hero, and I never had a hero before her.

4. Quotes are great, but they always sound so much more important and meaningful when they’re quotes.  One of my favourites, “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.” – Mel Brooks.  I chuckle every time.

5. Rad is not a word.  I don’t care if it means RADICAL.  Use radical then, I dare you.

6. Empathy, as I am reminded every day by my team, is not my strong suit.

7. On the other hand, I have a strong urge to save the world.  Funny that.

8. I poop every day after lunch.  Every. Day. On. The. Clock.

9. Time seems to be going by a lot faster as I get older.

10. One book that I have never been able to finish is Anna Karenina.  I believe I will attempt again next week.

11. One part dijon mustard, one part miso paste, dash of mirin, salmon filet, bake for 15.  Most delicious recipe ever.

12. I have no idea how many clothing item I have, but if I have to take a guess, I’d say.. 500.

13. Dogs are good, cats are bad.

14. I used to throw javelin.

15. My sister’s birthday and mine are 5 years, 4 days apart.  We used to have one birthday party where we dressed in the exact same shirt and skirt, but different colours.  I didn’t like it.

16. I believe myself to be a very solid B+.  When I am not a handicapped perfectionist, I might write a post about it.

17. I tell people that I’m a skier and not a boarder, but I’ve actually only done both once.

18. Those little colourful Indian pellet things you eat after a meal makes me want to die.

19. Kangaroos are a better meat source because their stomach has a bacteria that “allows” them to produce methane gas-free farts.  And they’re damn tasty.

20. Crocodile soups were popular in Chinese soups when I was a kid.  Not sure about it anymore.

21. It’s very hard to draw the line on what you should or shouldn’t eat, animal-wise.  I find it difficult to have sympathy for livestocks or even domesticated animals, but sea turtles are one that made me want to cry.

22. No clue why some people are scared of individual toe socks.

23. I prefer the ocean to the mountains.

24. Given the chance, I think I could be a pretty good mentor.

25. Dark beer is better than light beer.

Tag yourself?

Woe is me.  Ow.  Oh and I smashed my elbow on the wall by accident so that hurts too.

Oh my ear hurts now.

Pity party?

Photo taken in August, 2008 @ Musee D’Orsay, Paris

I miss Paris.  My first time there was years ago, when I was still with my first serious boyfriend and had very little money.  It’s never enough time there – do we go to museums, or window shop, or markets?  You can spend an entire day just sitting in the park near the Louvre, watch Parisiens go about their business, immaculately dressed.

Every time I travel, I find something to obsess about.  Our last Europe trip, I was mesmorized with doorknobs (work in progress – more photos to come).  All types of doorknobs, the most intricate designs of shapes and animals.  (Australia: iron lattices, Mexico: Mayan physiques..)  Everything in the city, it seems, down to the last detail, were thought of.  No window sill was neglected, no arm of any chair overlooked.  Adornments.

We spent half a day at Musee D’Orsay, mostly because both of us have been to the Louvre before, and with such a short time in the city, we didn’t want to spend half of it just tackling it (especially after reading that it takes 9 months to go over the entire museum in detail).  I remember going there before and literally running from room to room, just try to see the Mona Lisa, the mummy, and trying to dodge tour groups.

This time around, our schedule was much more relaxing.  We took the time to sit down at cafes, doing nothing, people watching, cold beverages, buskers.  If I have the chance to move anywhere, Paris is definitely on top of the list.

My BFF’s wedding, click here to view album

The year started off well.  My BFF, Pins (Pinder to you), got married.  It was most awesome and touching.

I don’t know if I’ve ever done New Years resolution.  I mean, I’m sure I have and not stuck to them, because if I did, I would’ve remembered.  I am one of those people who never re-read what I’ve wrote, so writing here is more of a diarrhea of the brain, not so much a collection of stories through my life.  I hope at least you’re entertained.

Things I’d like to do this year, in no particular order:

1. Quit smoking.  For reals.
2. Find one organization or cause and be involved in it.  Really involved.
3. Read more.  I already read a lot, but I need to read more.  More more more.
4. Start intermediate French (after I’ve polished my … beginners French.  Oui.)
5. Keep working out with trainer once a week, and add to that either pilates or yoga another day, and also, do something physical every day.
6. Draw on paper, not just think about drawing but actually draw it.  With pens and things, you know?
7. Reunion trip to see my bosom buddies.
8. Work hard, but not to death.
9. Work hard, to sustain travels.  Much travels.
10. Put on moisturizer.
11. Use eye makeup remover.
12. I need to go to Greece I’m thinking.

Doable list.  Let’s start with #1.

Hey!  Happy New Year!  May this year bring you stability, and also the ability to keep your job.  Thanks!

So Christmas 2008.  Where do I start?  If you’ve been tracking my Twitter, you’d know that we were stuck in YVR for 12 hours.  Our flight was originally scheduled for 9:05pm, and we knew it was delayed to 11pm before we left the condo.  When we got there.. well here are the progression of time changes:

11:55pm

12:55pm

1:55am

3:30am

We finally boarded the plane, after spending a long time in the Air Canada lounge, and sleeping on the airport floor after the lounge was closed.  During waiting time, people were mostly:

1. Sleeping
2. Talking really loudly while you were sleeping
3. Yelling at flight attendants
4. Crying while others were yelling at flight attendants
5. Staring at the snow that just started coming down again

We were the last flight out.  All the flights after were cancelled.  When we got to Toronto, we had already missed our connecting, and had to stay overnight at the Westin (oh, tough life we have).  All this time, our luggages had gone on vacation on their own.  We didn’t get them back until Dec 27.  It was great fun.

Anyway, the trip was great.  The weather was great – hot, but not overly so.  We had tons of good food, where I mistaken the green sauce for guacamole and it turned out to be habanero.  That was also a lot of fun.  Fun for everyone really, mostly the Mexicans who were looking at me fondly but you know they were chuckling inside.  I’ll post more stories by photo when they’re ready.

In true Andrea travel style, I got sick the 2nd day but recovered enough to have fun IN THE WATER!  I love the water.  So much that when it was windy and big waves were coming and pounded me from behind and the triangles from my bikini top left my boobs.  They were out.  Yay!  Fun times.

I also made a couple Mexican friends, a dad and a son (55 and 19 yrs old), who fed me rum and coke on the beach, who questioned why I didn’t know Spanish and if Canadians were very religious.  They also said my cigarettes tasted like pot, and that it was illegal in Mexico but if I really want some, they can get it.  So wholesome.

The Mayan people are the most friendly, kind and gracious people I’ve met in all my travels.  They also have a very, very adorable physique.  I will post photos later, I just adored them.

I had no problem pooping during my trip.  It was all substantial and solid.  Thanks for asking.

I’ve been busy at work, because our lovely leader granted us time off, office-wide, from 20th onward to the 5th.  Great leader, I love you for it.

As good as it is, everyone is now on high alert to work, work, work, to make sure we get everything done before the break, no matter what hours, so all of us can collectively have a restful and joyous holiday.  For me, joyous is when I don’t have to see jira for a day.  Two weeks without jira?  Fuck me.  I might just pee in my pants a little bit.

We booked Mexico at least three weeks ago.  Neither of us have been, and knowing that it’s the land of all-inclusive, we were tempted.  Sounded pretty decent – cheaper, nice-ish place to stay at, good pools.. the downside though, and let’s start a list, shall we?

1. Tourist.  Fat, fat tourists.  I hate fat.
2. American fat tourists.  No, not all American tourists are bad, but I’ve met enough to say that, I’d prefer other types of tourists.
3. Self-serve margherita machine and unlimited booze.  This, you might think, is a good thing.  I’ve been hot on a beach and the last thing I wanted was anything sugar.  Just give me my water ok?
4. Burgers and steaks.  Apparently, you get American food in all-inclusives.  If I had wanted to hang out with all these North Americans eating North American food, why don’t I just book myself a week in Sheraton?  I guess it’s cold here hey.
5. Did I say fat tourists already?

The truth is, we’re petrified.  Petrified of the shitty food, of tourists, of fake Mexican shows for fat tourists, and petrified of having to spend a lot more leaving the resort to find the real food, real Mexico (and real Mexicans).  So we spent a bit.. lot more, and rented a very nice condo in Playa, away from the resort stretch, and close to the Cozumel ferry.  Plan is, there’s no plan.  We’ll go, eat a lot, snorkel, eat street tacos, hopefully not have runny poops, and repeat all over again.

Merry pre-Christmas.  Now, back to working.  Loves.

These photos were taken in March when I was in Hong Kong last.  We were celebrating my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary (this dinner was after we had already gone to Bangkok to celebrate, and before going to Shanghai for some further celebration).  Private kitchens are very popular in Hong Kong.  These places are usually not advertised, almost never at a prominent ground level restaurant building, and a lot of them operated privately where if you were not referred, you wouldn’t know about them.

This particular place is called SAE Fusion.  It was an abundant of food, total gluttony (just the way I like it) and my fam was there.  Most memorable.

Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State

I had wanted to find a post I wrote on Hillary Clinton, but the only one I found was one that said I don’t want to talk about Hillary Clinton because I was so afraid of jinxing her chances to become president.  (Yeah I guess that didn’t work).  I was devastated when she lost, and I was angry when she wasn’t named VP.  But now!  Hey hey hey!  Things happen for a reason, I believe it, and I’ve always believed it.  She is the one woman I admire the most, in her strengths, abilities, passions, convictions.  Her intelligence and perseverance amaze and inspire me.  I am not an American, but I am proud to have lived in a lifetime when I can get to learn about someone so motivating.

Britney Spears documentary

So we got a PVR.  This means that, I now have too many channels that I know what to do with.  Which means, I was watching Much Music (I never do, I promise!) and saw the Britney documentary.  My sister said I have a soft spot for her, and I probably do.  It was actually sad to watch but you can’t help but feel.. sorry for her.  Not sorry for her million dollar mansions and many cars, but sad because she is a person who is confined to a life that takes away her ability to even go to the grocery store, or simply walk out of a car and not be touched or crowded on.  Money and fame are a lot of things, but freedom they are not.  She looked gorgeous, healthy, articulate – normal.  Normal from the crazy, shaved-head evil-possessed Britney from a couple years ago.  Why am I blogging about Britney Spears?

Birth of improvements

Without a mistake, you would never think to come up with a way to prevent it and improve it for next time.

Man, I’m good.  I just wrote my thesis on Things Happen for a Reason.

I disclaim, because this is about work, and I write this to somewhat further explain incidents that happened over the week.

So the short version of what happened was, I made a mistake.  Everyone makes mistakes, and I make mistakes.  It wasn’t, wasn’t in my books anyway, a huge mistake.  But it was a mistake.  Problem #1 arose – I do not fare well with being the person who made the mistake.  I first get very anxious.  Then I beat myself up inside for not being careful.  I feel a sense of doom and guilt.  My head is filled with a lot of “how could I have..” thoughts.  Then I try frantically to rectify this error.  I work high-speed to do damage control.  Most times it’s successful, solution found, I get over it.

Sometimes, amidst the chaos of self-torture and blame, I’ll get a comment to further push me deeper into the hole.  These comments could be, “that’s a really bad mistake” or “make sure it doesn’t happen again”.  Something along those lines.  I know things happen, people say things, *I* say things to when other people make mistakes, but when it’s ME who made the mistake and I hear something like that?  Down, down, down.  I go wayyyyy down.

Let’s do a short recap.

I get anxious.  I panic a bit.  I frantically try to find solution and do damage control.  I kick myself repeatedly.  Now, 2nd wave of emotions.

I get angry.  I get very angry.  I start lipping people off in my brain.  I know I screwed up, no need to tell me I screwed up.  I know this is wrong and I’m trying to fix it.  Let me fix it!  Just let me do the correct thing and make ths situation better again.  Then I am sad.  Very sad.  Because I obviously took a comment too personally and I shouldn’t have.  Because I feel this one mistake has ruined and cancelled out all the goods that I’ve done.  I am very sad.  Over MSN, I just need to tell my boyfriend that “I made a mistake” and then it’s “uh oh”, because I have so much trouble handling it, and handling what comes with making a mistake – what people say, how they will react, how I will react to how they react…

At the workplace, I don’t take things very personally.  A client can very well tell me that they are displeased and I would be able to explain, improve, suggest.  No problem at all.  But when it comes to me making a mistake and then being.. not even yelled at, but knowing that, in my own self, that I have fucked up, and then being told that Yes, You Have Fucked Up.  It’s .. probably not the worst feeling in the world, but it’s like one of those flash moments you relive when your parent is parenting you.  I feel defiant at first because the teenager kicked in, but then the core of me, the perfectionist, the one who can’t fail, the overachiever, the I-Can-Do-Everything, ultimately, failed.  Failed at being perfect, caught red-handed, and parented.  I am the child who did something bad, cried, parent scolded, then had to eventually be given a candy after I get a timeout.

This is one thing I do not like about myself.  Not being able to properly process failures.  I am my biggest critic, I am my biggest roadblock.  Failure is not acceptable but it happens, and as I just wrote the last sentence I think I vomited a bit.  I wish I can find a good motto for it.  Failure happens?  And I’m supposed to be okay with it?  I am not sure how to be okay with it.  I want to learn how, I mean it.  How to be okay with disappointing yourself?  How to not want to be perfect?

If the post above is too long, I summarize for you.  I’m Sandra Oh’s character in Grey Anatomy.  I just put too few stitches in someone’s busted eyebrow.  My chief attending told me I should’ve known.  Sandra Oh dies.